2 days back I got the news of an angel’s death – my love. Though I did not react initially, because the distance had grown between us that we hardly ever had the time to catch up – eventually in a couple of days I realized what my loss truly was. I won’t take her name for many reasons – knowing that she would not have wanted her mention in my life anyway. So I will use the name Anamika (Hindi for someone without a name) to refer to her instead.
Describing Anamika would not take the complexity of the whole world. Calm, unassuming and sweet – she had the combined mental strength of many but that blank look on her face hardly ever revealed it. She had a real maturity and a real poise that stood out from someone her age. And definitely it was not her time to leave us forever – at least to me it was not.
What I am left with are fond memories of joyous togetherness, growing up together, feeling her hands with me, looking into her eyes – yet never going through the fastidious exercise of whispering sweet nothing to each other. Ours was a relationship not spoken much of, unlike the many others I was linked to, but one that was special in its own way. While the news came as a bolt from the blue to me – I realized that I had seen it coming all along. My visit to Calcutta a few months back had confirmed that - the last few months of Anamika’s life were miserable. She put up a good fight, and put on a good face. But it was horrible for her and for all those around her who cared for her. Her mate seemed oblivious to it all – maybe he was faking it and at the end it also got to him ultimately. She was all too sweet for anyone not liking her.
Somehow she has left a void which I know no one ever can fulfill. Maybe it was the age, the time when we were growing up together, discovering the joy called life together that we bonded so close and maybe she never was as close to anyone else but me. Although it was nearly 4 years that we were estranged because of various grounds – whenever we came face to face in Calcutta my hometown, a sweet feeling engulfed our hearts.
Death always takes its toll – but I completely believe that life is all the more powerful. We all leave behind a legacy and feelings in peoples hearts that live on even after we move on to the next stage. The legacy & the story of Anamika & me shall always stay with me and my family.
Thanks for touching my life and leaving a special mark. I salute Anamika & the journey called LIFE.
1 comment:
May her soul rest in peace......
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