remember your mortality....

Life seems like a obstacle - as we desperately try to assimilate and re-organize the pieces of the puzzle together. Sometimes I have seen people foundling away fantastic opportunities because they were so "caught up" at the moment in their lives. Judging from personal experience there are limitless possibilities when we look towards the horizon - but I wonder if we Indians collectively ever look up. I find solace in the fact that like me, many of my generation and later are gradually waking up to the fact that happiness, family, money or social life or the tiny lil things that matter in life - contribute in a way towards nirvana but their sum collectively is never equal to true happiness.

I always believed that I am going to become the person that I desire to be - I will make the changes that I must, in order to do that. And I will describe my struggles here - right here. There were so many mistakes I could have not committed - there is always a learning there.

I always believed that it is today that we make our lives, and shape our destiny - our past is what has brought us here, future is what we shape today. After all we are all mortals - lets make each day of our lives count.

Memento mori is a Latin phrase that may be freely translated as "Remember that you are mortal," "Remember you will die," or "Remember your death". It names a genre of artistic creations that vary widely from one another, but which all share the same purpose, which is to remind people of their own mortality.

PS: memento mori and carpe diem - learn more from wikipedia (link here)

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to be or not to be....

Are we truly happy? Do we even know what it means to be happy and what it takes to achieve happiness? I realized that these are important questions for anyone who is seeking happiness to ask themselves. I have and will continue to live my life to maintain my own happiness while trying my best to not cause unhappiness to anyone else. I realized that as Indians we often thanked or cursed external agencies for usual happenings in life – like an accident, success, wealth etc etc.

We often fail to realize that if one wants to be happy, he/she must ensure his/her own happiness and not judge the happiness through media hyped happiness quotient. I have met numerous people especially woman who make the mistake of believing that they don’t deserve happiness and accept their unhappy state as their destiny. The truth of the matter is that happiness, like anything else in life, needs to be nurtured – everyone has his own definition of happiness.

Never fall prey trying to measure up your happiness through someone else’s scale. The end result mostly will be utter failure. I have seen people switch jobs, girlfriends/boyfriends, cities, and houses – all in a journey to be happy – and when I asked them if they were happy then, the glum look or a smirk on their faces said it all.

I realized hence everyone is unique and so are their aspirations, choices and hence the outcome. Aping can take one some distance not the whole way. So my advise to all who switched/are switching stuff in their lives is to step back and think – what is it they are running for. Is it a plum job, is it a certain sum of money, a house in the countryside, family maybe a sports car – general aspirations of the Indian middle class. Maybe in a pursuit of all those, we miss out on life – and at the end it’s usually too late.

Then again am I any different?

Sometimes a sudden yank can change your life considerably I realized – maybe for a moment we bask in our happiness and glory. But after all the mind is hardwired to find happiness in mostly all things we humans do. After all we Indians all are in “the pursuit of happiness”, together.

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aim for one cause....

yesterday I was in conversation with one of my dearest friends who made me an excellent offer to switch industries, return back to my hometown and settle down permanently – well sort of it. Somehow in the bottom of my heart I was sure that I was not destined (and I do believe we make our own destiny) to work for an MNC, draw in a fat pay slip every month, meet targets and at the end be completely oblivious to what value I am adding to the organization as a whole or society on a broader perspective for that matter.

Spending some time in services marketing & sales in the life sciences & healthcare industry I was of the opinion that I was slowly picking up the various facets of business, however, I was little prepared for the loss of a very dear one recently.

After a lot of soul-searching the realization dawned on me and led me to some serious revelations about myself, what I truly care about and cherish, and perhaps most importantly, what I would like to devote the rest of my life to.

I came to the conclusion that my life would be best devoted to the "greater good" of humanity - enabling technology to enhance the quality of human life. It would be great enabling the greater players in the life sciences & healthcare industry help conceive innovative & low-cost solutions not only for the US but the rest of the world, where nearly 90% of the population don’t have access to basic healthcare. Would it be a dream that a common man will have access to a basic 256 slice CT or low cost bio-markers at a nominal cost or people from the 3^rd world countries having access to low cost yet effective solutions from companies like Johnson & Johnson, Medtronic, Merck, Pfizer, GSK, Philips, GE Healthcare and other biggies of the world – that will help save lives of millions across the globe who are afflicted by a wave of AIDS, Cancer, or save thousand of lives of infants or mothers who perish due to lack of basic healthcare around.

Can’t we do our bit to save these lives?

The realization had dawned sometime back that this is what I am passionate about. The dream to help others conceive, deploy and service the world population with innovative life-saving solutions, where somewhere in the background I play my role, silently hoping and praying that somewhere somehow, my act today - helped save a person’s life somewhere round the globe.

Is it too much to ask for??

To quote Mother Teresa,

"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin............"

“Make us worthy, Lord, to serve those people throughout the world who live and die in poverty and hunger. Give them through our hands, this day, their daily bread, and by our understanding love, give them peace and joy..........”

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deny yourself........

coffee..................

I was drinking too much coffee for my own good. I felt I had not slept for days and I could probably go on for some days more - weird feeling in the head. How did I get to this point,, I wondered. It’s a fact that is a no big deal to not drink coffee for everyday?

I'm healthy. I sleep at least 6.5 hours a night. I'm not overly bored with my job - (well!!!!) most of the time. But I end up drinking coffee every day. It doesn't help that my roomie cooks up the most wonderful coffee at the shortest notice and most importantly its on the house. Or that I enjoy a cup of Assam tea with my newspapers and crossword puzzles.

Like a zombie I was trying to think. Think what? My next move? My business plan? My long term plans? In the end I realized I was hapless sailor caught up in a maelstorm - no point trying to fight the inevitable.

I could not deny myself anymore. Time more one more shot………..this better be a absolute knockout.

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life's not over friends....

what is the first thing that springs to your mind when someone tells you, that you have exactly 7 days to live and you can do whatever you want to do in the next 7 days. Tricky huh?

Since most of the last month was spent by me trying to find my feet in office, I finally got a lot of time for soul searching now that the initial days were over. I was wondering that nearly a third of my life is over and I am actually looking forward to the future. (Believe me a lot many people never want to grow up).

Well if I had exactly 7 days in my hands, I would perhaps be the happiest person in this planet. All eternity slogs away trying to make a life for themselves and their families oblivious of the fact that one rash decision while crossing the street or even slipping in the washroom can mean - l'extrémité.

So if I knew I had seven days then I would:
1. Take out a huge huge term plan and leave the lions share to a old peoples home.
2. Go out on a holiday with family.
3. Buy something nice for all my lil brothers & sisters.
4. Write something to all my good friends letting them know how special they were to me.
5. Let my better half boss me around for an entire day.
6. Gorge on French cuisine and get high on champagne.
7. Thank God truly for the wonderful life & end I would be having.

I guess I could have made the list really really long but as an afterthought, we really don’t need too many things to be happy. Maybe a ride in a Porsche would have made it to my list (almost), at the end it just occurred to me that it wasn't that special.

Life's never over and we are never too old to live or too young to die - its just what you feel. Like Mr. Shahrukh Khan stated in OSO, "..........picture abhi baaki hain mere dost, picture abhi baaki hai............."

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thou shalth quote......

Fridays aren't any fun. Most people are in their colourful best (appearance wise) whcih somewhat brings in some cheer in general in office. But as i watch people making plans for the evening whilst at work and wasting away valuable time I am left in awe. Is this what the Indian IT industry all about. We talk proudly in various forums that India has some of the smartest brains in the world but do we...........

Is this not hero culture - a handful of people leading the way with others blindly following them, writing millions of lines of code a month, with apparently no idea of the actual business value delivered to the client. Is this blind faith or these people around me just like lab mice, in context of the bigger picture. Who knows???

I am left with a smirk on my face. Some quotes resurface from my long list of mails in the outlook mailbox:

"All technology should be assumed guilty until proven innocent"

- David R. Bower

"More and more I come to value charity and love of one's fellow being above everything else.....All our lauded technological progress--our very civilization--is like the axe in the hand of the pathological criminal."

- Albert Einstein

"In science as in love, too much concentration on technique can often lead to impotence."

- P.L. Berger

"The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor."

- Wernher Magnus Maximilian von Braun

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re-defining Gandhi.....

Friday afternoon I was gazing into my crystal ball G-O-O-G-L-E and posting random comments on blogs, the teachings of Gandhi struck my mind. To be honest I was never a big fan of Mahatma Gandhi (being a self-confessed go-getter) or his ways of non-violence, but i do appreciate the way he achieved the end result.

We as Indians complain all the time, we speak of problems, the govt, the social evils, education etc etc - the list is long. Its only a handful of people who actually make things happen - are the harbingers of change. Somewhere down suddenly I realized that I was a part of the ever increasing Indian population who vouch that change is essential and its change that can lead Indian into the next big league. But what is it the last 26 years of my life, that I have done - that has actually helped (in the smallest possible way) affect India and its citizens. I was hard pressed for answer. Yes a stint for some time teaching young kids from a slum around IIT, Hauz Khas, Delhi for free - that somewhere gave me a sense of purpose - but that was it. I got lost somewhere - in this maze of making a life easy, facilitating things for me and my near ones - somewhere I lost note of the fact, that as humans we have a bigger purpose.

It’s not who we live as, but how many lives we touch in our lives that ultimately matters. Gandhi redefined himself in my mind. No longer was he a person responsible for India's freedom in a big way, but was a man who transpired to the next level by his thoughts, social responsibility and actions.

I salute Bapu........

PS: These are few of his quotes - hope they strike a cord with peoples minds as they did with mine.

Faith... Must be enforced by reason...When faith becomes blind it dies.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.

A weak man is just an accident. A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.

A 'NO' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'YES' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.

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if Yan can cook, so can I......

well tonight I decided I will give my family a surprise - while all of them were away shopping and I was destined to do what IT business guys are supposed to do - work late and churn out something productive for my bosses. Not so bad - since it was mostly covered earlier by me and I just had to collect data-points from my crystal ball G-O-O-G-L-E.

So I decided in the meanwhile while everyone was away to dabble in some cooking since the kitchen is usually off-limits for me. All I had were Chicken cocktail suasages and the rest of the stuff you usually find around the kitchen.

So all prepared I thought of something innovative to cook. No cookbooks but decided to take a leaf out of Ratatoule - the movie. Someone who can do strategic planning for a 120 mn vertical better be good at this. So I thought and ended up making this.

The recipe:
10 chicken cocktail sausages
1 tsp oil
1/2 small onion
1/2 small tomato
3 chillies (finely cut)
2 tsp soya sauce
1 tsp schezwan chilli sauce
1/2 tsp butter
1 cup of leftover rice

Saute the chilli, cut onions, green chillies into the oil in the frying pan. As it turns brown add the chili sauce into it and let it simmer for a while. Add the tomatoes finely cut into in, stir for a while. Add the sausages, 1/3 cup water, soya sauce and stir for a while. Cook for 10-15 mins on slow flame as the meat gets tender and the curry thickens. (i added a lil bit of sauce thickener). Add the rice that was fried in a lil bit of oil, onion & salt separately around the stuff to form a ring. Garnish with a lil bit of coriander and lil bit of butter around the sides. Let it cook for 5 more mins. The stuff was done. Everything looked perfect .......only transferring it on a serving plate was the difficult part. By this time the family was back, they actually couldn't believe that I had done this.

For someone who earns his money doing all crazy stuff for people selling services to everyone else around the globe, it was after all, "All in a days work"

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10 things to do......

10. compete in the Mumbai/Delhi marathon - would be a difficult task considering I have spent some time working in the IT industry.

9. learn to speak Japanese/Spanish/French – any one will do particularly Japanese. Being a out and out geek the Japanese language would be an absolute boon. Then maybe French – for obvious reasons.

8. learn to play the saxophone. — but smoking for almost 6 years now it seems has taken the breath out of me. But I will still try it sometime.

7. open my own restaurant someday. — being a Bengali, I adore getting lost in the aroma of mustard oil and fresh cooked rice and fish (along with the western delicacies of course), backed by world class service. Already I feel like I am in heaven.

6. travel all around the world. — australia, africa, russia, europe…too many to name……..my ultimate dream is to spent some time with the natives around the Amazon, understanding their way of life, daily activities and retrospect how diversely we have evolved as human beings, subject to varying conditions in different environments.

5. get a book published and widely read. — that’s an difficult wish to cater to, with the kind of time I have but yet……

4. run my own production company. — one of my friends had been dabbling in writing, filmmaking, and music for as long as I can remember, so it would be a dream come true to actually make a living doing what I can do better – especially with the kind of films that have come out recently

3. have a reunion with all my friends from all around the world. — I have made so many amazing friends in my life, so it would be great to see them all in one place laughing together as the circle of friends.

2. fall in love deeply, truly, and passionately. — I have had fooled myself quite a few times in the past, but I can safely say that I haven’t truly, deeply, and passionately fallen in love just yet. But I am sure I have found the one.

1. And the final wish - to be truly happy. — I know that I’m definitely a professional masterpiece-in-progress, always eager to learn and grow into the best version of myself, both professionally and personally. But sometimes I can be my worst critic and struggle with accepting me for who I am now. I have to remind myself that nobody is perfect, and that’s the most beautiful part about life!

PS: Life is always a struggle as we grow up but it must be remembered at all times, that the decisions we take in life make us what we are eventually. At the same time we must never forget that dreams are what make us realize, what we want to/can achieve in life. So go out, see the world, make a dream, make promises to self ………….and go all out to make them HAPPEN. Over and out folks…….

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if i were the only one.....

Sometimes blogging seems self-centered and pointless; feel more like Will Smith in a recent blockbuster movie - I Am Legend.
Just thought I would blog that :-)

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mumbai talkies.......

This week I visited Mumbai - the Indian city that never sleeps. Presumably I reached Mumbai late - really really late; around 2 ish at night. Still I felt all at ease trying to find my way around Andheri - the dogs around the locality seemed comfortable with strangers in their neighborhood at such wee hours. 3 days just whizzed by at work. Just took some time off to set my eyes & mind of the city and feel the pulse. Yes the city was alive and kicking. Seemed like an eternity as I looked in the horizon trying to find some answers. But the beauty and the vast space took the questions away; my mind was at ease.

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we only live once but......

2 days back I got the news of an angel’s death – my love. Though I did not react initially, because the distance had grown between us that we hardly ever had the time to catch up – eventually in a couple of days I realized what my loss truly was. I won’t take her name for many reasons – knowing that she would not have wanted her mention in my life anyway. So I will use the name Anamika (Hindi for someone without a name) to refer to her instead.

Describing Anamika would not take the complexity of the whole world. Calm, unassuming and sweet – she had the combined mental strength of many but that blank look on her face hardly ever revealed it. She had a real maturity and a real poise that stood out from someone her age. And definitely it was not her time to leave us forever – at least to me it was not.

What I am left with are fond memories of joyous togetherness, growing up together, feeling her hands with me, looking into her eyes – yet never going through the fastidious exercise of whispering sweet nothing to each other. Ours was a relationship not spoken much of, unlike the many others I was linked to, but one that was special in its own way. While the news came as a bolt from the blue to me – I realized that I had seen it coming all along. My visit to Calcutta a few months back had confirmed that - the last few months of Anamika’s life were miserable. She put up a good fight, and put on a good face. But it was horrible for her and for all those around her who cared for her. Her mate seemed oblivious to it all – maybe he was faking it and at the end it also got to him ultimately. She was all too sweet for anyone not liking her.

Somehow she has left a void which I know no one ever can fulfill. Maybe it was the age, the time when we were growing up together, discovering the joy called life together that we bonded so close and maybe she never was as close to anyone else but me. Although it was nearly 4 years that we were estranged because of various grounds – whenever we came face to face in Calcutta my hometown, a sweet feeling engulfed our hearts.

Death always takes its toll – but I completely believe that life is all the more powerful. We all leave behind a legacy and feelings in peoples hearts that live on even after we move on to the next stage. The legacy & the story of Anamika & me shall always stay with me and my family.

Thanks for touching my life and leaving a special mark. I salute Anamika & the journey called LIFE.

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day dreams......do come true

The only problem is, at least with me that I fail to track my daydreams and forget to feel happy when they get fulfilled. Funny but true. It isn't that I desperately await a daydream to become reality but it is a fact that I do enjoy imagining a moment and the happiness it brings me but fail to `live' it when it actually happens.

Well, my daydreams aren't about achievements or money. They are largely about inane stuff - soaking the sun lying aimlessly on a lush green lawn (mainly because of being brought up in the greener part of south Calcutta), giving a piece of my mind to someone at work (which I rarely end up doing) and standing in the midst of a forest with a gurgling waterfall close by (thanks to my visit to Chakrata near Dehra Dun recently & Jim Corbett long time back - which had a similar scene and which promptly found a place in my daydreams ever since I read the short story in school).

Strangely, I realized yesterday, that one of these inane moments I had daydreamt about actually came true but I wasn't clapping my hands in glee. In fact, I was at peace as the moment appeared mundane, almost like something that I took for granted, until I realized (much later in the day) that it was one of my many `daydreamt moments'.

Perhaps for a compulsive daydreamer like me it would be a tad difficult to keep track of all my imagined moments. But, given the amount of time I have spent since childhood staring blankly at my teachers, ceiling fans, text books and bosses during meetings, lost in my world of dreams I cannot let the whole `exercise' go waste.

I should at least stick a list of my daydreams on my desk and tick the fulfilled ones. Or check the list every morning for a fresh recall so that when the daydream gets fulfilled I at least remember to smile.

I just dreamt one……….waiting for it to someday come true!!!

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the rebound effect....

Monday morning 11:00 clock – already been 2 hours in office. I spent last night gazing into the crystal ball of the net (pronounced as G-O-O-G-L-E) trying to find out the works about my target account. I tied all permutations & combinations of different strings, hopeful that my personalized crystal ball will throw up something meaningful.

Suddenly a call on my phone changed everything. This was exactly what I was hoping for all these three months. This could change my life altogether. In spite of quite a few changes that have happened already and left me drained, the possibilities that have opened up suddenly left me dazed. Unfazed I got up, left my terminal to reflect on things on a smoking session downstairs.

Life usually gives no quarters but just like the sea, I believe it gives you back and sometimes more what it had taken away from you. One has to open his/her eyes and understand – that’s all. Life is a mystery – like an onion. Keep on peeling one layer after the other. Sometime it will make you cry but every layer will open up infinite possibilities. And it is what you make out of yourself that matters - ultimately.

This is called the rebound effect – happens after every loss.

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reflections of a wise mind.....

As I was walking back home from work a thought came to my mind - watching hundreds of construction workers earn their daily bread piling on rows of steel & concrete, forming mega-structures people like us call office. Are your lives bound to a certain plot or formula?? Are we not like white mice performing some act some one else has planned for us. Or is there a bigger picture. Who are we?

A good friend came to my mind immediately. Her profile on one of the innumerable social networking sites caught my imagination - and i did not want to ruin it by using my creativity on it.

So here it goes........

Knowing whom to trust and whom not to is the only thing in the business called LIFE!! .......

Not knowing d right answer and making wrong choices is totally my domain... :-)

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, and lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all acure to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to know where safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you're a great individual and believe in yourself, no on else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

Some said ...Life isn't about FINDING yourself,it is about CREATING yourself....

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do we care??

Sometimes it really does bother me how there seems to be a lack of care in society these days. Oh and I do not read the tabloid newspapers and try not to watch the news. Just going around the town (Pune) it does seem quite clear that often there are people who have no consideration for others.

I think respect is something that should be afforded to people, and although I think it is something that should be earned..I feel it is better to give it until someone proves they are not worthy of it.

This happened this afternoon when I was waiting for a bus to take me to a cooking gas distribution center, (Alas India!!! We are still behind the ROW in providing people basic amenities)…………I saw a rather elderly gentleman waiting for the bus, he looked like he had mobility problems. Everyone rushed to jump on the bus in front of him nearly knocking him over. I moved out of the way and said he could go before me, cue a lot of people behind me tutting and sighing. Since when has being courteous to someone become something that should be frowned upon? I always feel that since life is so short we should do our utmost to treat others well. Why waste it by being rude………..what do you gain from that? Okay so you might save 3 seconds on your journey...but is that really something to value?

If care and consideration for others was still being imparted by parents I do think that maybe some of the apathy that seems to be prevalent in society would subside. I know it is not a solution as such but it is just an ideal of mine.

I know I am not perfect, I did find myself once wondering about why a suicidal person decided to throw themselves in front of a train, and thought about how it would affect me. I do feel guilty about this; my first thoughts should have been with the poor human being who had been suffering that much that they decided to end their life.

I of all people should know better than that considering I've attempted to take my own life in the past. Society does seem to be all me, me, me lately........I could philosophize on why that is but I do not think it would solve much. What I will do though is try to make my best effort to ensure that I treat people well and that I make sure that I do something worthwhile with the short time I have. My life goal is to be doing something to help others. With my family and the way I was raised, I might not feel like this.............always but I do feel like I really am a product of my upbringing, and to waste that would be quite sad.

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random thoughts.....

Another week has flown by! Looking back, this week has been really hectic and I have no clue where it went. Maybe I feel this way because last weekend was hardly a holiday. I was running all over Pune trying to find things to get my family life rolling.

For about a week before my “better half” came over, I was really excited. At first, it was the excitement of spending some quality time with my wife and then, it was the excitement of seeing my family very soon… I was thrilled! As the D-day neared, the excitement turned into something else.I felt like one phase of my life was over and I have entered a new phase. I could no longer get out of my place as a loner and think, “let’s try my luck at those singles joints”. Those days have gone by!

Suddenly life flashed by………….when I was at college, I was typically one of those guys who would complain about their college at the first chance that came their way. Man! I couldn’t wait to get out of college. Once I got out of college, I realized how much that place had become a part of my life and how badly I missed it. I missed being a backbencher, I missed sneaking out of class with my friends to eat samosa, smoke a occasional joint, I missed going to the library to check movie timings, , I missed going out on long bike drives, I missed A.C. Canteen, I missed bunking classes and going to Priya, I missed the chowkidar, I missed giggling during the OAT, I missed playing for my college, I missed running around the college early in the morning, I missed complaining about our teachers, and most of all, I missed all the wonderful people I made friends with when I was in college!

On the day of the convocation, the college was filled with squeals of “oh my god! Can’t believe you’ve changed so much…” and “it is so good to see you!!” and “heyyyyyyyyy… been looking for you all over the place”… it was heavenly… it was so nice that even the yellow convocation robes didn’t seem like such a big deal. Finally, after a lot of hugging and screaming and shouting, we were all seated at our respective places. The convocation began! The usual speeches of responsibility and duty were made. All of us had to go and stage individually and collect our certificate. We were graduates!!!!

Life was the same in B-school. Never could live life as it is meant to be. Thinking of someone else who was omni-present in my life, I ruined what was there already. Eventually all eneded.

This simple flash made realize that we should stop living in the past and live for the present. Too many complaints about the present often lead people make mistakes……….mistakes they rue all their lives. I do not want to end up like those buggers. I want to live life. I want to live life with the person sharing her life with me & my wonderful family. God bless everyone. The simple realization made me smile

I want to be happy.

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the roll on effect

OK, well I stopped posting every day - which would be a little tedious anyway - because I am in here in Pune. Which at least says that Pune had no particular affect on my everyday living, which is nice. So the last few weeks here was, in one way, a good start to the "family living" thing. From the time my better half reached Pune, I discarded my "see me I am He Man" attitude, but stayed with the "nice guy" image. Well things seem to be going pretty smoothly, far more smoothly than imagined - I call this the 'roll on' effect. Nice cash added to my bank every month (albeit.........I need more yet), nice lil house with the works (though rented) and a fundoo room-mate aka my wife. And hey I have managed to save more this month. Things are started looking brighter - I guess those are the side-effects of marriage.

Which brings to my mind that we would be completing 3 months of wonderful togetherness and I still have not bought her a nice gift apart from the RING (cost me more than my 2 months salary.....hehehe).

So its decided Goa it is. A wonderful vacation seems on the cards. Ocean, sand, the sun, scantily clad women........oh!!!! I have to remember it’s her vacation. Should reign in my thoughts. Wait for my next post

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first day at new job

well 25 days into a new job - i still am trying to find my feet here in this new company. Already the salary has come in making me feel a lot better in this new place. Shifting from the capital to a smallish Pune city, life had almost come to a standstill. Sitting here in front of my workstation gaping into space I try to make out my mind what to do next. Lots are running through my mind - a new life, a new job, a new city. Life does have a brand new feel to it - now am I happy?

I really don't know. What does make people happy? A sound source of income, a posh job and title, a beautiful wife or a happy family. But I have come across so many people in my life seemingly lost and miserable even with the presence of one or all of these.

So my question is what makes people happy?
What does it take to make the BIG FAT INDIAN DREAM happen?
What are the sacrifices that need to be made?
And at the end is the one happy?
Only the future can open up this can of worms.........till then i wait........& live this dream.

I am after scared lest the dream break and I wake up and face reality. To sum it up
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep

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